Routine: a set of customary or unchanging and often mechanically performed activities or procedures. Think about that for a minute. Think about it now, because you sure don't do it while you compulsively do the same thing over and over again every day, just because you're used to do it. Because it's part of your life, part of who you are, right?
Wrong. We often get confused about who we really are. Do you let your routines define you as a person? If you do, what do you think will happen once you have to break one of these habits? Are you less of who you think you are? And if most of your routines are shared with one person, things can get even worse.
We get attached to our routines. We attach to them so badly we often confuse them for being more than they are. We identify with our habits to the extent that it hurts when we have to brake them. And there's no exception when it comes to shared routines.
One thing that most people don't notice when it comes to relationships is the bond we create through routine. Whether it's healthy or unhealthy, whether it feels really good or really bad, it's something we might have identified with. And breaking this chain can feel like you've been torn apart into pieces and you have to pick them up and rebuild yourself.
You're not broken. It might hurt, but it can heal. You are so much more than your disintegrating shell. And if your shell is breaking, it might be so you can focus on what's hidden within.
Think of this situation like having a blank canvas you can put something new on. Point 0. A place where you can grow. This time you can do it by yourself, so it would most likely be your choice if you decide to break a habit or not. Once you gain the understanding of routine attachment and add a little mindfulness to it, it should get easier.